Several months ago I came across a verse on a blog that I follow, that I had never seen before. The author of the blog titled the verse “A Practical Prayer for Many Situations That I Find Myself In”.
The verse is 2nd Chronicles 2:12. You’ll want to look it up to read the entire verse, but the part that stands out is the cry “O our God…..we do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”
How many times do I find myself in that exact same spot, where I am at a complete and utter loss as to what to do? Sadly, so often when I reach that point, that bewildering place, I do not pray these words here. No, instead I try to reason it out, I try to think it through, I try on my own to develop a plan. Shelly always has a plan. If I just think hard enough, if I just try long enough, if I can just do this or do that, I’ll figure out what is next.
What must God think in those moments that I deliberately refuse to put my eyes on Him?
The last several months, if I were to be completely honest, place me right there: right on the edge, the precipice of knowing not what to do. Life is beyond me, all control of my life-what I have known life to be-has been wrested out of my hands, similarly to Job. And yet in my stubbornness and pride, I still find it difficult to turn to my God and say the words in John 6:68: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” Or, as 2nd Chronicles 2:20 expresses it—-I don’t know what to do, but my eyes are on you God. Help me. Show me.
Tonight one of the songs being sung at worship is Tommy Walker’s “When I Don’t Know What to Do”. I remember listening to that song over and over and over again in the days directly after my life as I knew it collapsed. I was fortunate enough to be in Hawaii at the time, and I would walk for hours, listening to this song over and over and over again on my Ipod, studying the sky, the ocean, because I didn’t know what to do.
But I’ve gotten away from coming honestly before my God and pleading these words to him:
When I don’t know what to do, I’ll raise my hands
When I don’t know what to say, I’ll speak your praise
When I don’t know where to go, I’ll run—-not walk—-to your throne.
O, even now, even tonight, I don’t know what to do, but to try to place my eyes on my God.