I am tired tonight. It was a brutal day of grouchy patients and grouchy physicians in the office where I work. We were shorthanded, overbooked, and behind schedule all day long.
I’ve read much lately about making much of Christ in the workplace. Being the light. Being different. I’m trying to do all those things, but it is exhausting work. I work hard to be very pleasant to both patients and coworkers and physicians, even when faced with a rude initiative or response. That takes energy, to do my very best work I possibly can while keeping a pleasant demeanor, as well as caring for those coworkers of mine who have messed up lives and no hope.
I drag myself home, to face laundry and cleaning, homework and paperwork, grocery shopping, errands, meetings, etc. And I drag myself out of bed at 5 every morning to wake up and spend time with God, because without that, I’d never make it through the day. At least, not make it through the day with my sanity intact.
I am preaching to myself tonight, that I need to find joy in the workplace. And that my joy should not come from external things such as the deposit working out correctly, or providers running on time, or coworkers who actually do their work instead of giving it to me to do, which, of course, I do. No, my joy comes from Christ alone.
I’m currently reading “Jesus + Nothing = Everything” by Tullian Tchividjian (I have NO idea how to pronounce his last name). To say it has been a gut kicker would be an understatement. His Biblical focus is the book of Colossians. He writes about idols–we all have them–and how they destroy our lives. Like my idol of being the best at everything. If I’m not best, I’m wrecked. And the idol that the workplace can become, and possibly is for me, for many others as well. No, it’s Jesus + Nothing = Everything. Not Jesus + My abilities = Everything. Not even Jesus + My Family = Everything. There is no other answer for experiencing real joy, than to get to a place where Jesus + Nothing = Everything.
I’m weary tonight. Weary of parenting. Weary of working two jobs. Weary of many other things. But, like I said, I am working hard to preach to myself tonight. And I’m grateful to my God that every day ends eventually, and a new one starts over in the morning.