As a parent, I have to make decisions every day. I have to decide how I’m going to parent. I have to decide what is best for our family. I have to make both short and long-term decisions. And this weekend I have had to make a tough one.
This weekend was the deadline for me to make a decision regarding moving my family to Charlotte, NC in order to attend seminary. This is a dream of mine. I long to further my education, to sit under godly teachers and soak up their knowledge of my Lord and my God. I have dreams regarding careers for the future.
I had been accepted into Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, for a dual master’s degree program–M.Div and Master of Arts in Christian Counseling. Not easy programs to get in to, particularly the latter. I fought hard for my spot in that program. I was so excited, ready to go. And I felt it must be God’s will for the next step in my life, because He allowed me to be accepted.
However, as time has drawn closer and closer to the deadline to make the final decision to move, I’ve had to decide that for now, this dream is going to have to be put on the sideline. This has been a hard decision. I so wanted to go. But, like I said at the start of this article, as a parent I have to make decisions that are best for my family. And for now, I can’t uproot my children and move, particularly without a job and a place to live there.
So I sent in my withdrawal letter yesterday, with much sadness, but with certainty that this is what I am supposed to do. But I’m not giving up on my dream, I’m just setting it aside for now.
I read a book in the middle of the night last night titled “You Are a Writer” but Jeff Goins (he was giving his ebook away for free this weekend. Check it out at http://youareawriter.com/. It’s a very short book, I read it in less than an hour. It’s about doing what you love-in this case, writing-and how to get started. You get started by, well, by writing!!
And so this little book made me think about my withdrawal from seminary for now. Yes, because of financial and family situations I can’t attend right now. But that doesn’t mean that I give up on my theological education. I have a responsibility to my God, regardless if I ever get to go to seminary or not, to read and learn all that I can about my Savior. There are so many good books, so many websites, sermons, resources, that I can continue to prepare myself for the day that I can attend seminary, but doing the work I need to be doing now–which is reading and writing. And, of course, scripture work. Without that–scripture work–I could read all the theology books in the world and yet never develop that personal relationship with God.
And so, that’s what I’ll do for now. I’ll study scripture. I’ll read. And I’ll write, write, write. I’ll parent and provide for my children, making the best decisions I know how to. And I’ll pray that God will still provide some day the means to attend seminary.