I almost quit our church’s Christmas musical today.
Not because I didn’t want to do it. I did. The music is beautiful. I have a fun solo where I can be LOUD. The story is strong and Biblical. But I almost quit.
I had a work meeting this morning that literally tripled my work load. Not a bad thing, not at all. It is job security. And I am so thankful for my job. But most of this work has very short deadlines. Like as in they were due yesterday. Or 3 months ago. We have an intense business meeting next week that there is much preparation to be done yet. I still need to put in a couple of hours of work tonight before going to bed.
And then I factored in my children’s activities for the weekend: 3 drama performances at the high school and one middle school choir concert on Monday, with me leaving for my trip on Tuesday of next week.
So, I selfishly thought I can’t do this. I can’t logistically make this happen, with kids needing to be chauffeured, work needing to be completed, and 3 church musical performances and one Sunday morning worship service. I was selfishly feeling overwhelmed. I had blinders on and all I could see was the next 1.5 week for me and my crew.
Arriving at practice tonight late due to work, I still managed to make it in time for our devotion. And that’s when I received a big kick. A well-deserved kick.
Our music minister told the story of Gad. Right now I don’t even have any idea where the story is, nor I don’t think I could do justice by trying to share the story with you historically here. But I will say that the gist of the story is this: What truly is worship that costs you nothing?
O, my soul. Here I had been selfishly and whiningly trying to figure out how I could sacrifice the time to do the musical as well as parent in getting my kids to where they need to be, as well as being sure that I attend their activities as well, and accomplish the workload I have to complete this weekend. And heal my ear infection.
But would it be worship if it was easy?? Would it truly be worship if it cost me nothing? If there was no sacrifice? The answer coming from our devotion this night was a resounding “No”. Everyone is busy. Everyone has to make sacrifices in order to put on this worship experience for our community. And if we are not called to do so, then we have no business being up there singing.
I needed this kick. I needed this kick badly. I want my worship to be real. And I welcome it costing me my time, my energy, my sleep as I work late nights, and the logistics of parenting in the midst of all of this. Because I want real worship. Not pretend worship. Not a show. NOT A SHOW. No, it is incredibly important to me that worship be real on Friday. On Saturday. On Sunday.
I welcome the kick tonight. And I welcome the reminder that it will be important; no, crucial; that I examine my heart each morning during this upcoming weekend, and confess to God my shortcomings in this area, and beg for his mercy. And to ask Him to accept my offering of worship, and that He will enable me to worship with true joy.
I found the story that was shared with us tonight. You can read it in 2nd Samuel 24. It’s an important story. Read it. Read it. But below is the verse that teaches the precepts that we need to remember when approaching our God with the sacrifice of our worship:
But the king said to Araunah, “No, but I will buy it from you for a price. I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing.” So David bought the threshing floor and the oxen for fifty shekels of silver.
I want to be like David. I want to say that I will not offer the offering of worship to the Lord my God that cost me nothing.
And so I walk into this busy weekend, praying that God will enable me to Worship in Joy and expectation of what God will do. And that He will find my offering acceptable to Him.