When you are in a vehicle by yourself for 13 hours, there’s not much to do other than pay attention to the road, think and listen to the radio.
During my recent trip, my rental car had Sirius XM Satellite radio. I don’t listen to the radio a lot, but 13 hours drove me to find something other than my brain to listen to. I found a Christian station and would listen off and on a couple of hours at a time.
In doing so, I heard a song that I’d never heard before, even though from what I can tell, it’s been out at least 5 years. The reason it caught my attention is because one of the lines is “I get so stupid.”
I don’t know about you, but I’ve always taught my children to not call each other stupid, to not call anyone else stupid, and to not call themselves stupid. So to hear that in a “Christian” song was a bit of a shock. So I turned it up so I could hear the rest of the lyrics.
My judgmental attitude toward the song changed once I heard the rest of the lyrics, because I recognized myself so clearly in them.
The title of the song is “Clumsy”. Those who know me best, can see that the title along would resonate with this clod horse that I am. It’s a song by Chris Rice. I’ll share the lyrics below this post.
The gist of the song is this: We mess up. Time and time again. And yet, somehow, through grace, God still loves us and is working to make us Holy–set apart for Him.
Part of the chorus goes like this:
‘Cos I get so clumsy, I can get so foolish, I can get so stupid And then I feel so useless
That’s how I often feel my journey with God is. I get clumsy with my disciplines. I get foolish in my decisions. I get stupid in the way I think and live. And then all those combined cause me to feel so completely useless. Particularly today. Dear God, most assuredly today.
And then I think “I’ll try harder!!” Oh, I’d love a theology solely based on works. Because I think I can use my checklist to work my way to God. I want to make Him proud. How about you? Does any of that sound familiar? Take a look at this verse:
I’m gonna get it right this time
I’ll be strong and I’ll make You proud
Prayed that prayer a thousand times
But the rooster crows and my tears roll down again
Yep. Prayed that prayer a thousand times. But before that rooster crows, I stumble and fall again like a clumsy child.
But for some reason, He still loves me. Even on days like today. Even when I mess everything up and I feel like I’m drowning with no piece of driftwood to grab hold of, I’m somehow reminded that God still loves me. He still wants to be near me when no one else does or should even want to be. And through all my failures, He is making me Holy. And that work won’t be complete until I go Home. Oh, to go Home. Someday. Life is Short.
Read the lyrics below, and then listen to the video. Maybe you, too, will see yourself in Chris Rice’s lyrics. And in the totality of Scripture as well.
You think I’d have it down by now
Been practicin’ for thirty years
I should have walked a thousand miles
So what am I still doin’ here
Reachin’ out for that same old piece of forbidden fruit
I slip and fall and I knock my halo loose
Somebody tell me what’s a boy supposed to do?
I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You’re sayin’ You love me
And You’re still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me
‘Cause You’re makin’ me holy
You’re still makin’ me holy, yeah
I’m gonna get it right this time
I’ll be strong and I’ll make You proud
I’ve prayed that prayer a thousand times
But the rooster crows and my tears roll down (again)
Then You remind me You made me from the dust
And I can never, no never, be good enough
And that You’re not gonna let that come between us
I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You’re sayin’ You love me
And You’re still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me
‘Cause You’re makin’ me holy
You’re still makin’ me holy, yeah
From where I stand
Your holiness is up so high I can never reach it
My only hope is to fall on Jesus
I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You’re sayin’ You love me
And You’re still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me
‘Cause You’re makin’ me holy
You’re still makin’ me holy, yeah