I am finding it hard to settle tonight. Or rather, in these early hours of the morning.
Sleep is elusive.
Most nights, I can at least eventually fall asleep. Usually, it is the staying asleep that is the issue.
But tonight, it’s the falling asleep that has me laying here, pounding out page after pass-word protected page of words. Prayers. Thoughts. Questions.
Maybe it is the post I wrote earlier this evening that is keeping me awake. Or, maybe it is my old enemy of the fear of falling asleep, only to be awakened by things that haunt that is keeping sleep from descending.
Or, maybe it is just a sleepless night. We all have them, after all.
The air is thick. My mind is not still; not settled. My soul is weighed down. It is ridiculous, but I am fearful.
I am not a good memorizer of scripture. I should be, but I’m not. I don’t put the time in that it takes, and I’ve never really made it a priority. But there are a few scriptures that are so ingrained in my mind that I don’t have to look them up. Mostly, they are scriptures that, at times, I have pounded out over and over and over again at my keyboard. Word after word after word. Psalm 4:8 is one such verse:
In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.
I need reminded of this so very often; this declaration. This almost-command. This reminder that, by His grace alone, I do dwell in safety. Even when my mind lies to me and tells me that I do not. When my mind tells me that I am not safe. Even when the nightmares assault. I do dwell in safety, because my God makes me to dwell there. In safety.
And only He can do that.