We were ruined in Your presence
And tearing at the seams
Our eyes had gazed upon the King of kings
I like that word.
It fills the space of trying to describe two very real things:
- The state in which we all find ourselves, at one point or another, in life.
Surely, dear reader, you have found yourself undone, at one time or another. I know I have. I know that there have been times in my life, when I just could not possibly take another step. There were times in which my soul–if not my very mind–was so fractured and wrecked that I could not see past the next breath. I knew those moments as a child, facing the reality of evil for the first time. I knew those moments in the middle-of-the-night nightmares that steal my breath and sleep to this day. And, I absolutely knew that moment in the days following my husband’s arrest and subsequent sentencing. And, I have known the state of being undone since then, as I’ve walked this road of single parenting.
It’s wrapped in a sense of hopelessness.
And, in those moments, it can be so very hard to sense God’s presence. To sense that He sees. And that He knows.
And, in those moments, it can also be very difficult to accept and trust His sovereignty.
But there is another definition, or application, to the beautiful word “Undone.”
You may be asking, first, how I can describe the word “Undone” as being beautiful, in light of the list above. Terror, and exhaustion, and hopelessness–those are not “beautiful” words.
And I would agree with you. You are right. They are not beautiful words. They are hard words that create chaos in our lives, and in the lives of those we love. But there truly is a sense in which being “Undone” can be a beautiful thing…..
……because, when we become “Undone”–when everything is stripped away in a Job-like manner and there is nothing left, and when we recognize that truly, we are Undone, it is then–and only then–do we see that He is our only hope.
And in those moments–our “Undone-ness” shifts much like the earth shifts, in the midst of an earthquake.
Our “Undone-ness” shifts from being “Undone” by the terrifying darkness, to being “Undone” by and before the One who is the only light that dispels that darkness, as we learn in John 1:4-5:
It’s that moment when we recognize that He, alone, in His sovereignty, not only sees the circumstances that threaten to bring us to a state of being undone and unable to take another step, let alone that next breath–He sees that. And knows. And grieves on our behalf.
And then, He acts.
Maybe not in the way we wish He would. He is not Santa Claus. He is not some Genie in a Bottle. We wouldn’t worship Him, if He were! We are selfish, sinful creatures. We would make out our self-centered, selfish Wish List, much like we did each year as children, when the Sears Christmas Catalog would appear in our mailboxes in November: and we would never be satisfied.
No, He may not give us what we beg Him for.
He may not take away the nightmares.
He may not take away the chronic illness. Or the cancer. Or repair the marriage. Or provide you with that better-paying job.
But–oh, my soul–He is not idle. He does not abandon. He does not sit in silence, though it most certainly seems to be that way sometimes.
He does not forsake.
But He does demand that we trust Him. He does demand that we worship Him. He does demand that we acknowledge that He. Is. God.
And we are not.
And, when we come to the end of ourselves, and bring our undone souls to the foot of His throne, He then does exactly what the lyrics from the song “Undone” by Sovereign Grace tells us He will do:
But You were rich in mercy
To provide what You demand
And now on Christ, the solid rock, we stand
We have not the ability to exercise faith that He is who He says He is, apart from His mercy to provide that faith to us. We have not the ability to worship Him, apart from His mercy to put the song of worship in our souls and upon our lips. And we have not the ability to acknowledge who He is, apart from His mercy to show us He is God.
And, in those moments–we become Undone by who He is.
(To purchase this and other great worship resources, please visit this site: Sovereign Grace Music)