A Blog is an interesting phenomena. There’s a certain amount of vulnerability in blogging. Should one be completely honest?
That’s where I am tonight. I’ve had a most discouraging day, fighting to keep the monster of depression at bay. I would have to say that it has been a failure of the day, and my only option now is to go to bed in hopes of redeeming the day tomorrow.
Tomorrow is the last day of 2011. Another year is gone, another long year lays before me. I truly appreciated and grasped on to Jon Bloom’s “Year End Prayer for Weary Waiters“. Here is an excerpt, though I encourage you to read the entire prayer:
O Jesus! When will “soon” be? We know that you are not slow to fulfill your promise “as some count slowness” (2 Peter 3:9). Forgive us when it feels slow to us. You know we are dust (Psalm 103:14) and that our brief years are full of toil and trouble (Psalm 90:10). Many of us are weary and struggle to keep perspective. Our indwelling sin plus trouble plus waiting tempts us to cynicism as “soon” unfolds over millennia. We do believe, Jesus; help our unbelief (Mark 9:24)!
So our prayer at this year’s end is simply, “Come, Lord Jesus” (Revelation 22:20)! We will wait for you as long as it takes. We trust that you will come when the time is full. May that time be soon. You said it would be. Amen. Come, Lord Jesus
I, like so many others, am a weary waiter. It has been a long life. I long for home. I long for Jesus’ return. On the day that I go home, the fight against doubt and unbelief will be over. The fight against depression will be over. The fight against failure will be over. The fight for joy will be over, because I will inhabit a joy unspeakable, unexplainable, unfathomable.
I’m not a patient waiter.