I am puzzled tonight about the mysteries of prayer–the unknowable things about how prayer works. How I wish that Jesus would have explained it more.
I had a strange experience today. I had sent a text to my oldest girl, asking how her day was going. She replied that she had a huge anatomy test during the 3rd block of classes. I know she has been working hard at getting ready for this test. I texted her back that I would pray.
And then I forgot to pray.
At around 2:00 (after the high school is dismissed) I remembered. I felt terrible that I had forgotten to pray. But even more than that, I began to think about prayer. HOw does it work? Since I forgot to pray, could I still say a quick prayer and God would answer retrospectively?
Here is what I know: I remain confused and frustrated with wrapping my mind around God and the subject of time; also, God and the subject of hearing prayers. I know He answers prayers, but how does He hear them all, and what does time (knowing that God operates outside of time) have to do with prayer?
I also know that God is not Santa Claus, he is not a magician. He won’t “magically go back and change answers on Keli’s test” because I pray. That would be ridiculous.
I pulled out my favorite book on Prayer, simply titled Prayer by Philip Yancey, and while I found re-reading many of the highlighting that I did in that book, I didn’t find what I was searching for.
Maybe that’s just it. Maybe I’m not supposed to be able to wrap my mind around these questions. But being the person I am, it is very hard not to ask these questions time and time again as they bounce around inside of my mind.
However: 20 Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me! (Psalm 66:20)