Up most of the night last night, tonight I find myself tired yet dreading sleep. So here I lay in bed, getting ready to read until I finally do fall asleep.
I am down tonight. There should be no reason for being down. I worked hard cleaning houses this morning. Then I did cleaning of our house and errands, and then took the smalls and one big to see Avengers (which was an excellent movie). There is no reason for being down, and yet here I find myself goofed up as the day closes. My soul hurts tonight. It aches for my kids. It struggles with doubt. And it is weary from working to keep our heads above water.
God seems so silent tonight, as I yearn to sense Him. Sometimes it is like that. I wonder if those times are meant to teach us. But what, exactly, I don’t know.
I turn to the Psalms, because I know that the Psalm writers have words for this.
1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?
2 O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest.
3 Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.
4 In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them.
5 To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame.
21 Do not forsake me, O Lord! O my God, be not far from me!
22 Make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation!