I have a board. Not many people know about my board. I’m afraid many would think I would belong in a padded cell if they knew about my board. But I’m going out on a limb and sharing about my board with you who dare to read these paltry entries of mine.
I’ve always had a board. It’s imaginary and very large. It’s full of columns that characterize my life: God, Jesus, (no column for the Holy Spirit yet–still working on that), family, friends, work, past, present, future, church. These are just a few of my columns, because all of my columns are interchangeable, depending on what my mind and soul are working on at any given minute.
Each column has sticky notes, or regular notes, or jottings, or lists that pertain to the subject area. You see, I am a thinker. I think and I think and I think. I over-analyze, it’s a huge short-coming of mine and can quickly turn to sin when I mix it with pride and self-centeredness. My mind never, ever stops. Even through the night I am haunted by dreams and nightmares, my mind refuses to be still and rest, be still and sleep.
Today I had some alone time as I cleaned houses, that allowed me to work on my board. I straightened up some columns that needed straightening desperately. I added a couple of new columns based on some decisions I have to make in the next two days. And I tried to repair some columns that have been damaged or erased lately.
But in all my work of thinking today (while putting in much, much sweat equity while cleaning, good grief it was a hot day to be cleaning houses, even in air-conditioning!) I was reminded of something–I love to learn. That’s why one of the decisions I am making in the next couple of days is creating much stress and distress. But that’s for another column all together. I also was reminded today that God calls us to love Him with all our Heart, all our soul, all our strength and all of our mind.
There is joy in the gift that thinking is. Granted, I would like to be able to turn it off once in awhile, particularly in the nighttime. And if I don’t discipline my thinking, I can quickly turn too introspective (see comments above concerning this in the form of sin). But all in all, I need to be grateful==I am very grateful==for the gift of thought, for the gift of being able to love My God with my mind.
I’m tired tonight, but my mind is racing. Sometimes I dread the night, for very good reason. Tonight is one of those nights. It’s been a rough few nights. But I have a good, challenging book to read: God is Love: A Biblical Theology, and I have time to study and pray and think and hopefully settle my mind and soul down to peaceful sleep.